If you are a natural introvert, trying to leap straight into talking to big groups of women in a loud, chaotic nightclub is a massive mistake. Introversion doesn’t mean you are shy; it just means group interactions drain your battery, while one-on-one connections actually give you energy.
If you are an introvert who’s learning how to talk to women, favor day game over night game by approaching women who are by themselves sitting at a café or walking down the street.
You also don’t need a heavy, direct man-to-woman opener immediately if it paralyzes you. You can lean on an indirect, situational statement, and then delay the personal element slightly. The moment she responds to your comment, you immediately pivot: “That was a really cute response, you seem cool. What’s your name?”
Because your very first sentence wasn’t explicitly indicating your interest, it bypasses her social defense mechanisms. It feels completely socially acceptable, organic, and seamless. It feels like she earned the interest.
Stop looking at introversion as a social handicap. Find your preferred game style, delay the reason for your approach by a sentence or two, and let the gradual reps turn your game into an effortless habit.
Approach anxiety isn't a rational problem, so you can't use logic to reason your way out of it. Most guys stand across the room trying to analyze the perfect opening line, but the longer you wait, the heavier your feet feel.
That fear you feel when thinking about approaching a woman is just an internal alarm system going off. The purpose of the alarm isn’t to stop you, it’s just to make you more alert.
Confidence isn't something you wait to feel before you make a move.
True confidence is developed through the physical repetition of approaching, even when your heart is racing and your hands are shaking.
If you let approach anxiety control your movements, you are letting a momentary spike in adrenaline dictate the quality of your dating life. You only break the loop when you force yourself to move before your brain has time to make an excuse.
If you're a beginner or constantly find yourself paralyzed by approach anxiety and want a step-by-step app experience to build your confidence from scratch, check out my new training program Confident Connections here:
If your conversations feel like a job interview, you are doing it wrong. Teasing is the tool that breaks the ice and creates that necessary opportunity for attraction to grow.
You shouldn't be mean, but you shouldn't be nice either. You want to stay in that pocket where she is wondering if she can have you.
Some tricks for actually doing it:
1) Misinterpretation: If she says something normal, act like she’s trying to hit on you or is moving too fast.
2) Challenge her: Don't just agree with everything she says. Disagree playfully to show you’re not intimidated by her beauty.
3) Use nicknames: Assign her a role or a nickname based on something she said. It creates an instant inside joke.
Mastering game isn't just about getting the girl; it’s about becoming the type of man who has options in every area of his life. It is the ultimate exercise in self-reliance and personal growth.
When you know you can walk into any room and create a connection, the fear of rejection disappears. That confidence bleeds into your business, your friendships, and your overall sense of agency.
The struggle to learn this skill is real, but the freedom on the other side is worth every blowout. You stop being a victim of circumstance and start becoming the architect of your social life.
It turns out that the man you need to become to be good with women is the same man who succeeds at everything else.
You can’t just buy a better jawline or a taller frame, but you can definitely choose to stop being the guy who makes excuses. Looksmaxxing only works if you understand that the "max" part includes your social skills and your internal frame.
If you are using your looks as an excuse for why you aren't succeeding, you are playing a losing game. Women are attracted to the man you present, not just the physical vessel you inhabit.
The real game is stacking the deck in your favor by controlling the variables you actually can. Fix your style, get in the gym, and groom yourself, but don't expect a haircut to do the heavy lifting for a weak personality.
At the end of the day, your vibe and your ability to lead a conversation will always outperform a guy who looks like a model but talks like a doofus.
If you’re waiting for a woman to give you permission to be confident, you’ve already lost. Most men operate from a frame of seeking approval, which is the fastest way to kill tension and ensure rejection.
The difference between a guy who struggles and a guy who wins is the "Winner’s Frame." It’s the ability to walk into any room and operate as if your value is already established, rather than something you have to prove.
When you stop trying to convince her that you’re worth her time and start acting like a man who is used to winning, the entire dynamic shifts. You move from a position of pursuit to a position of power.
Attraction isn't something you bargain for; it is a reaction to the strength of your internal reality. If you don't believe you’ve already won, she never will either.
If you’re tired of playing not to lose and want the exact blueprint to build a winner's frame that creates magnetic attraction, check out the program here:
I never internalized the narrative that my height (5’7”) should limit me. By the time I learned being short was a “dealbreaker” for some women, I had already been with dozens of them.
Most of the time, the rejection isn't even coming from women. Instead, it's coming from the voice in your head that tells you you're not enough. Kill that voice.
Max out the traits you can control and stop obsessing over the ones you can't. Game, confidence, assertiveness, and leadership are what make you succeed.
When you stack enough of these traits, your vibe says: “I am what I am—and that’s enough.” That confidence beats insecure overcompensation every time.
Most guys walk up to a woman hoping they'll be liked.
That frame kills your game before you even open your mouth because you are nervously trying to win her over.
Your success starts with one thing: assumption. When you assume she’s already into you, you create a frame that leads to behaviors that actually work.
If there's even a 20% chance she likes you, you round that up to 100% and act like it's fact. Acting as if she likes you leads to the behaviors that get her to like you.
When you assume your value is self-evident, you behave in ways that create a magnetic pull instead of a needy pursuit. You don't need to justify, explain, or persuade.
Game isn't always about trying harder. Sometimes, it's about believing in yourself more.
The real tragedy isn't missing your goals; it’s hitting goals that were too small to begin with.
Most guys have a low ceiling on their success because they are playing not to lose instead of playing to win.
If you want to flip the script, you have to stop rejecting yourself before she even has the chance to get to know you.
Stop asking “What will go wrong?” and start asking “What could go right?”
The safe choice feels nice in the moment, but you become better by aiming for the most attractive women and trying to operate from a place of abundance.
If your set isn’t progressing, it will die. I don't care how strong your open is or how good your vibe is. If you don't escalate, isolate, or move forward, it won’t last long.
Escalating at some point is mandatory. When she starts escalating on you, that is not your cue to coast—that is your green light.
How to engineer the result:
Move her: Physically relocate her and escalate logistically.
Leverage the moment: If you are with her now, you are already on the date. Take it as far as you can in the moment rather than settling for a phone number.
Don't hope for a pull. Engineer one.
If you’re tired of interactions that lead nowhere and want the step-by-step roadmap to master your game and get the women you want, check out my flagship course, The System, here:
AskToddV
If you are a natural introvert, trying to leap straight into talking to big groups of women in a loud, chaotic nightclub is a massive mistake. Introversion doesn’t mean you are shy; it just means group interactions drain your battery, while one-on-one connections actually give you energy.
If you are an introvert who’s learning how to talk to women, favor day game over night game by approaching women who are by themselves sitting at a café or walking down the street.
You also don’t need a heavy, direct man-to-woman opener immediately if it paralyzes you. You can lean on an indirect, situational statement, and then delay the personal element slightly. The moment she responds to your comment, you immediately pivot: “That was a really cute response, you seem cool. What’s your name?”
Because your very first sentence wasn’t explicitly indicating your interest, it bypasses her social defense mechanisms. It feels completely socially acceptable, organic, and seamless. It feels like she earned the interest.
Stop looking at introversion as a social handicap. Find your preferred game style, delay the reason for your approach by a sentence or two, and let the gradual reps turn your game into an effortless habit.
Read the full blog post here:
toddvdating.com/blog/how-to-talk-to-any-woman-anyw…
1 day ago | [YT] | 76
View 3 replies
AskToddV
Approach anxiety isn't a rational problem, so you can't use logic to reason your way out of it. Most guys stand across the room trying to analyze the perfect opening line, but the longer you wait, the heavier your feet feel.
That fear you feel when thinking about approaching a woman is just an internal alarm system going off. The purpose of the alarm isn’t to stop you, it’s just to make you more alert.
Confidence isn't something you wait to feel before you make a move.
True confidence is developed through the physical repetition of approaching, even when your heart is racing and your hands are shaking.
If you let approach anxiety control your movements, you are letting a momentary spike in adrenaline dictate the quality of your dating life. You only break the loop when you force yourself to move before your brain has time to make an excuse.
If you're a beginner or constantly find yourself paralyzed by approach anxiety and want a step-by-step app experience to build your confidence from scratch, check out my new training program Confident Connections here:
studio.com/apps/todd/confident?ref=todd&code=a
2 weeks ago | [YT] | 79
View 7 replies
AskToddV
If your conversations feel like a job interview, you are doing it wrong. Teasing is the tool that breaks the ice and creates that necessary opportunity for attraction to grow.
You shouldn't be mean, but you shouldn't be nice either. You want to stay in that pocket where she is wondering if she can have you.
Some tricks for actually doing it:
1) Misinterpretation: If she says something normal, act like she’s trying to hit on you or is moving too fast.
2) Challenge her: Don't just agree with everything she says. Disagree playfully to show you’re not intimidated by her beauty.
3) Use nicknames: Assign her a role or a nickname based on something she said. It creates an instant inside joke.
Read the full blog post here:
toddvdating.com/blog/how-to-tease-women-in-convers…
3 weeks ago | [YT] | 83
View 1 reply
AskToddV
Mastering game isn't just about getting the girl; it’s about becoming the type of man who has options in every area of his life. It is the ultimate exercise in self-reliance and personal growth.
When you know you can walk into any room and create a connection, the fear of rejection disappears. That confidence bleeds into your business, your friendships, and your overall sense of agency.
The struggle to learn this skill is real, but the freedom on the other side is worth every blowout. You stop being a victim of circumstance and start becoming the architect of your social life.
It turns out that the man you need to become to be good with women is the same man who succeeds at everything else.
Read the full blog post here:
toddvdating.com/blog/why-mastering-game-was-worth-…
1 month ago | [YT] | 129
View 4 replies
AskToddV
You can’t just buy a better jawline or a taller frame, but you can definitely choose to stop being the guy who makes excuses. Looksmaxxing only works if you understand that the "max" part includes your social skills and your internal frame.
If you are using your looks as an excuse for why you aren't succeeding, you are playing a losing game. Women are attracted to the man you present, not just the physical vessel you inhabit.
The real game is stacking the deck in your favor by controlling the variables you actually can. Fix your style, get in the gym, and groom yourself, but don't expect a haircut to do the heavy lifting for a weak personality.
At the end of the day, your vibe and your ability to lead a conversation will always outperform a guy who looks like a model but talks like a doofus.
Read the full blog post here:
toddvdating.com/blog/why-looksmaxxing-is-a-lie-sor…
1 month ago | [YT] | 116
View 21 replies
AskToddV
If you’re waiting for a woman to give you permission to be confident, you’ve already lost. Most men operate from a frame of seeking approval, which is the fastest way to kill tension and ensure rejection.
The difference between a guy who struggles and a guy who wins is the "Winner’s Frame." It’s the ability to walk into any room and operate as if your value is already established, rather than something you have to prove.
When you stop trying to convince her that you’re worth her time and start acting like a man who is used to winning, the entire dynamic shifts. You move from a position of pursuit to a position of power.
Attraction isn't something you bargain for; it is a reaction to the strength of your internal reality. If you don't believe you’ve already won, she never will either.
If you’re tired of playing not to lose and want the exact blueprint to build a winner's frame that creates magnetic attraction, check out the program here:
toddwinnergame.com/
1 month ago | [YT] | 110
View 10 replies
AskToddV
I never internalized the narrative that my height (5’7”) should limit me. By the time I learned being short was a “dealbreaker” for some women, I had already been with dozens of them.
Most of the time, the rejection isn't even coming from women. Instead, it's coming from the voice in your head that tells you you're not enough. Kill that voice.
Max out the traits you can control and stop obsessing over the ones you can't. Game, confidence, assertiveness, and leadership are what make you succeed.
When you stack enough of these traits, your vibe says: “I am what I am—and that’s enough.” That confidence beats insecure overcompensation every time.
Stop making excuses.
Read the full blog post here: toddvdating.com/blog/the-truth-women-wont-tell-you…
1 month ago | [YT] | 159
View 14 replies
AskToddV
Most guys walk up to a woman hoping they'll be liked.
That frame kills your game before you even open your mouth because you are nervously trying to win her over.
Your success starts with one thing: assumption. When you assume she’s already into you, you create a frame that leads to behaviors that actually work.
If there's even a 20% chance she likes you, you round that up to 100% and act like it's fact. Acting as if she likes you leads to the behaviors that get her to like you.
When you assume your value is self-evident, you behave in ways that create a magnetic pull instead of a needy pursuit. You don't need to justify, explain, or persuade.
Game isn't always about trying harder. Sometimes, it's about believing in yourself more.
Read the full blog post here:
toddvdating.com/blog/make-this-switch-when-talking…
2 months ago | [YT] | 103
View 2 replies
AskToddV
The real tragedy isn't missing your goals; it’s hitting goals that were too small to begin with.
Most guys have a low ceiling on their success because they are playing not to lose instead of playing to win.
If you want to flip the script, you have to stop rejecting yourself before she even has the chance to get to know you.
Stop asking “What will go wrong?” and start asking “What could go right?”
The safe choice feels nice in the moment, but you become better by aiming for the most attractive women and trying to operate from a place of abundance.
Learn to stop settling.
Read the full blog post here: toddvdating.com/blog/three-steps-to-your-dream-sx-…
2 months ago | [YT] | 74
View 3 replies
AskToddV
If your set isn’t progressing, it will die. I don't care how strong your open is or how good your vibe is. If you don't escalate, isolate, or move forward, it won’t last long.
Escalating at some point is mandatory. When she starts escalating on you, that is not your cue to coast—that is your green light.
How to engineer the result:
Move her: Physically relocate her and escalate logistically.
Leverage the moment: If you are with her now, you are already on the date. Take it as far as you can in the moment rather than settling for a phone number.
Don't hope for a pull. Engineer one.
If you’re tired of interactions that lead nowhere and want the step-by-step roadmap to master your game and get the women you want, check out my flagship course, The System, here:
systembytodd.com/
2 months ago | [YT] | 95
View 2 replies
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