Captain Obvi 💚 - Invidious

Captain Obvi 💚

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Just a girl in the world 💚 sharing my experiences and nature along my path through life.

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Captain Obvi 💚

### The Stranger in the Mirror
There is a specific kind of grief that comes with cancer—one that isn’t just about being sick, but about losing the physical pieces of yourself that anchored your identity. For me, it has been the loss of my hair and my breasts.
It feels taboo to talk about the shame of it. When you are fighting for your life, the world expects you to focus solely on survival. You hear things like, *"It’s just hair,"* or *"At least you're here."* But losing these parts of my body has felt like losing my armor, my femininity, and my sense of self all at once.
The reflection looking back at me doesn’t feel like mine. It triggers a profound sense of body dysmorphia—a disconnect where my mind cannot reconcile the shape I used to be with the sudden, traumatic changes forced upon me by a disease I never asked for.
Every morning is a confrontation. Looking in the mirror means facing the scars, the bare skin, and the physical evidence of what has been taken. It is a quiet, exhausting battle to feel at home in a body that feels like it has been entirely rewritten.
I am grateful to be surviving, yes. But I am also mourning. If you are going through this, please know that you are allowed to miss your old self. You are allowed to feel angry, uncomfortable, and disconnected. Surviving is a victory, but the grief of losing your body along the way is entirely real.