ToastyTime

I just watched "Obsession" (2026) and it made me reflect on how I've been using this channel. I don't think I've been pushing things far enough and I worry I've been propping up toxic behaviors.

The games I talk about on this channel have an incredible ability to influence people. This can be in a good way, but they can also validate peoples poor choices and thoughts. The impact they have entirely depends on the kind of mindset you are approaching them with, and "Obsession" I think helped me reflect on just how negatively a poor mindset could be influenced by them.

It shows how a scared and isolated man can make bad choices from a place of naivety and selfishness. It does, in a way, show how instead of healthily confronting these issues, he takes a shortcut and revels in having a yandere girl who is obsessed with him and makes it easy to fill that void without real work.

I've been that scared kid, too afraid to ask out the girl he likes. I've self isolated to "work on my hobbies" when often it was a way hide from confronting that fear. I, like him, waited too many years to ask them out and felt the moment passing me by. How did I cope with my inaction and loneliness? By straight jorkin' it, which is also a shortcut.

The games I talk about can be the same escape, a way for people too scared to try in the real world to feel agency and take hold of something. It gives people a place to be wanted and needed, while also being comfortable for them to engage in.

I've since worked on my shit, found Ms. Toasty, and stopped taking shortcuts for the things that matter. I think since then I've been able to look at these games as a reflection of a darker part of the world and use them as an opportunity to learn how to better treat the people I love. But, if I was still in that other mindset, perhaps I would look at these games like a shortcut much like the main character in "Obsession."

In thinking about these, I've decided that I need to push harder on this channel. I need to (Grim) delve deeper into confronting the dark side of these games and their communities, and study harder how to avoid feeding into that world. I want this channel to be a place where some can go to be disturbed and question what they know and do, but also to be uncomfortable to the people who aren't disturbed by these games. A place where they can go to realize that perhaps the habits they've built are unhealthy.

This channel should push everyone to think more deeply about the media they consume, myself included. I can't ignore one side of the equation just because it's easier for me to understand one side. I think my past videos are pretty good, but I want to do more. I need to dig deep, remember the lonely chud deep inside, and make videos that get everyone to think "could I be doing something differently?"

There will always be people who dismiss this channel as slop. But this channel isn't for them. I'll continue to work to make this channel a place for the people who get it, and who need it.

1 week ago | [YT] | 180

ToastyTime

I've been in a bloody battle with YouTube censorship but I've finally found a solution... Maybe. You may have noticed in the past week or so I've reuploaded 2 videos that YouTube took down originally, a Grimdelve devlog and the Monster Girl Quest Paradox video. Originally, I was going to keep them deleted in fear of more channel strikes, but I decided to take the gamble and try just heavily censoring them! I put tens of hours into these videos, especially the disturbing RPG Maker game reviews, and these are topics I really care about! No way I'm giving up without a fight!

Well, it tentatively seems like that's working! The reuploaded devlog has stayed up and so has the MGQP video... so far. Moving forward I will be heavily censoring my YouTube uploads and as a trade off will be releasing entirely uncensored versions of each video onto Patreon for paying members. It's about $1 per video to support me over there and I frequently forget to charge people so kinda sometimes ends up being free lmao...

This is the best way forward I can think of. It helps me earn a little money to fund Grimdelve or artist commissions, helps the videos reach more people on YouTube, and still allows me to discuss these topics in as much depth as I want. It's frustrating to not get my God given red blooded American right to freedom of speech, but I'm doing what I can. If you have any other ideas or suggestions, please share below. I appreciate you all sticking with me and the channel as I navigate this stuff.

2 weeks ago | [YT] | 133

ToastyTime

I am currently in a university class where the teacher grades everything with AI and expects you to use AI to write your papers. This has me thinking about the way AI is changing our world, particularly in the world of video games. So, enjoy this community post as my way to vent instead of me yelling at my 80 year old professor.

I think as I've gotten older and gone to university for a business degree, the idea of making money off your hobbies has crept into my mind. This channel was built at first with a lot of creativity and love. I put myself out there and made myself vulnerable with each video. Then, I found myself trying to appeal to the algorithm. I saw all the slop videos getting millions of views with AI optimized ideas, and somewhere along the way I lost myself. This happened with game development too. I didn't start working on Grimdelve for the longest time because everywhere I turned AI vibe coded and AI idea generated indie games dominate. Why should I make myself vulnerable when I can make something easily digestible and be "better off" for it? Life is hard and the majority of people don't want to sit and think about some strange gooner indie devs experimental game. Is that so wrong?

No, it's not, but you used to be able to make niche stuff in peace. Now, there's a pressure to take it mainstream and make money off of it with the help of AI. AI can be a tool to make creative hobbies more accessible, but too many people are lazily using it to destroy this beautiful niche communities. People call me a tourist because they see me as making their niche mainstream, forgetting passion can exist in a world optimized for money. I just wanted to talk about some interesting games and appreciate the creativity on display, why the fuck do I need to make money with it? Why they hell did I find myself on many a late night brainstorming AI optimized YouTube titles!?

I bought into the side hustle culture that business school fosters and AI has elevated to everything. It's been hard to choose to cover the things I want to when sometimes I know they won't perform as well. There are not enough people in the world who care about passion and humanity to stop the rise of AI or this hustle culture. They might think that they do, and people like you and me absolutely do at times, but willful ignorance reigns supreme. I like to think that I always care about these things, but life gets in the way. I’m going to law school because I need a way to make money and live, I watch reality tv with Ms. Toasty sometimes to zone out and chill. Funny enough, it has been choosing to do law as my career that has finally given me the freedom to dive fully into the creativity of this channel and game development once again.

But, even in the small moments, it's important to hold onto your passion for creativity. This channel and Grimdelve will live no matter what because I've found a way, though much trial and tribulation, to enjoy it regardless of how much money it makes me. Despite everything business school taught me, despite the lazy AI bullshit pushed down my throat, I have a real passion for doing this shit. I’ll still be here, money or not, making the things I love. I hope you will be too.

Side note: Just released a Grimdelve update yesterday and have a completed script for the Demons Roots video. Also, big collab video is nearing completion.

1 month ago | [YT] | 172

ToastyTime

I am slowly working on the Demons Roots video. I've edged you all enough.

Also here's an update on things: Most of my time right now is being spent developing Grimdelve in a mad dash to finish the game before I start law school. I'm going to be able to do it, but that's why there's a current content drought. I plan to get out 2 more videos before law school (3 if we're lucky)! Once law school starts, this channel will mostly be live streams and the occasional lower effort video. Videos like the Kagura Games one are more sustainable, so expect some stuff like that.

Anyways, I'll get back to work now. Wishlist Grimdelve if you're wanting to see what I've been working on! There's a demo you can play out now, I'll be doing Steam Next Fest this June, and I'm super proud of how it's coming together!

(I was really proud of the updated UI I'm launching in the next Grimdelve update, thus the attached pic).

1 month ago | [YT] | 158

ToastyTime

I shared the news on stream tonight, but for those who couldn't make it: Me and Ms. Toasty just got engaged over the Valentines weekend!

For those of you who have been here since the start, you have watched me grow up on this channel. From a 13 year old kid who thought he was far too weird to ever find love, to a still weird 21 year old engaged to the love of his life. I can't believe that my life, in one way or another, is documented through this channel. It's very special for me and every one of you hold space in my heart. This channel is a part of me and it always will be!

It's still unbelievable to me that I was this blessed to find my person so young. If you've never made it to a stream, Ms. Toasty completes me. She makes all my jokes funnier, really spends time to understand and care about these weird gooner games I make videos on, and has allowed me to include her in a ton of videos and streams even though she gets anxious over what people say about her. Sometimes she gets more worried than I do about letting you all down!

We've been through some ups and downs on this channel over the years, but after all this time I finally feel like I've found a place where I have peace. YouTube analytics don't crush me as much anymore, nor does seeing hate comments get me down. I focus on the positive more every day, which only makes me appreciate the great parts of this community more.

Anyways, enough yapping. TLDR: I am engaged and feeling very nostalgic for all my years on YouTube with the best community out there. Much love, new videos soon probably

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3 months ago | [YT] | 276

ToastyTime

Slowly working on more videos but in the meantime I made another trailer for an RPG Maker game! I've done a first impressions on this one before, highly recommend checking it out if you like visually artistic RPGs with depressing themes.

I will also be live tomorrow at 4:30 pm PST with some big news and a first impressions stream...

3 months ago | [YT] | 8

ToastyTime

Due to ANOTHER YouTube strike, I unfortunately couldn’t post when it happened, but thank you for 30k subscribers! To all the new people, welcome, happy to have you here and if you have anything you’d like to see on the channel feel free to let me know!

A lot of little kids now want to be YouTubers. I certainly did. I didn’t think I’d end up posting what I do though and while some will never understand and will always just call me a goontuber, I know you guys do and I couldn’t ask for a better audience. Most of those kids dream of 100k or a million subs, but I saw a single Twitter post or something years ago that has forever stuck in my mind: At 30k you count as a niche internet microcelebrity. So, I’ve dreamed of 30k, and I blinked and somehow we’re here.

I’ve never been a channel that shoots up into viral sensation over night. I’ve been here for years, slowly learning how to not be shit at making videos, and I plan to be here for years more (YouTube strikes be damned!). Hope to see all of you new here stick around, and for many more to join us in the future!

**Also, YouTube is useless and gave me a second strike and took down the monster girl quest paradox video after 4 months for no reason and insta-rejected my appeal… I want to censor and reupload but not sure if that puts the channel at risk. Currently weighing options. Sorry for the inconvenience, you can find the full video for free on my Patreon page: www.patreon.com/c/toastyfunnyguy

4 months ago (edited) | [YT] | 119

ToastyTime

It is always amusing when I see a comment calling me a puritan tourist afraid of any dark themes or sexual content and then right next to it a comment saying I’m absolutely disgusting for giving the games I cover a platform and a misogynist/racist/all types of ist.

I’m told I'm too critical of the games and whine too much about the dark themes, and right after I’m told I’m bad for thinking the games I cover are anything more than hentai and I should just goon to it bro.

I’m not claiming my videos are some ultimate think piece, but it is interesting to see people criticizing me for having nuanced takes. You don't have to staunchly hold to one blanket opinion. I can think a game is gross and also think it has good qualities, that’s the entire point of my disturbing RPGMaker games series. I want to explore games that would traditionally be instantly dismissed or ignored as "goonerslop" and see if there is anything redeeming in them. For most of the games I cover, there is.

The reaction to me sharing my own game Grimdelve has been interesting too. I personally think it makes sense that after all the games I’ve seen I want to make my own and do it better using everything I have learned. Some want it to have more adult content, others want it to have no adult content at all. It’s not a gooner game and it’s not a puritan game, it exists to bridge the gap and cover difficult themes without being so horrible it pushes the average person away.

I appreciate every one of you who watches and takes my videos for what they are. I also understand those of you with stronger reactions, but I urge you to have an open mind and think past your first knee-jerk reaction. I had that knee-jerk reaction for a long time too. There's a lot you're missing out on because of it. Some of the most life changing stories push you to confront the darkest parts of humanity.

More videos to come. Nothing will stop me.

5 months ago (edited) | [YT] | 274

ToastyTime

MY CROUTONS I have found a PEAK new disturbing RPG Maker YouTuber who is also the one behind a very prolific Steam curator for RPG Maker games. He is just getting started but he shares super interesting games, highly recommended checking him out! Get your RPG Maker fix from him while I slowly toil away at new content...

5 months ago | [YT] | 17