Blended Life

When people hear me talking about how important it is to your blended family to have a strong core of a marriage, here’s another reason why.

You have to have each others backs in front of the kids, and handle your differences privately with the goal of getting on the same page. The second kids see desention amongst the leaders of the family, they begin to detach from unit because it feels unsafe. Conversely, they fling themselves in all the ways protectively and fiercely onto their natural parent (hindering the step parent and step child relationship). This causes his and hers separation in the home, and if gone unchecked, will leave you feeling like two separate families living under one roof.

Work on your marriage so that you and your spouse take all things on as teammates, not opposing team captains. Do that and the kids are more likely to fall in line and embrace the blended life you’re creating.

#blendedfamily #blendedlife #blendedfamilylife #blendedfamilyproblems #blendedfamilystrong #blendedfamilysupport #blendedfamilysuccess #blendedfamilyhelp #blendedfamilyadvice #blendedfamilymarriage #blendedfamiliesofinstagram #blendedfamilytips #blendedfamilystruggles #blendedfamilysurvival #blendedfamilydrama #stepparentingproblems #stepparentinglife #stepparentingishard #stepfamilyhelp #stepfamilysupport #stepfamilyadvice #supportyourspouse #yourmarriageisthecore #fixyourmarriagefirst #backyourspouse #haveyourspousesback #marriageadvice #marriagehelp #respectinthehome #unity

5 years ago | [YT] | 8

Blended Life

Read that again.

Receive it.

It is the relationship between you and your spouse that deserves the most effort and highest priority. When the kids grow up and move out, it is your spouse that you will be left with. Without the marriage your blended family would cease to exist. Care for you marriage. Show up for one another. Be teammates in everything you do.

If you find your blended family struggling, go back to the basics and work on your marriage.

The step parent-step child relationship, or lack of, or struggle, gets a whole lot of attention and feelings, but sometimes I believe there’s too great of focus on all that. Readjust back to your spouse and the marriage, and lower your expectations to basic respect for the other. Stop fantasizing of what may never come (i.e. a perfectly blended family or for your spouse to have a wonderfully loving and easy relationship with your child) and embrace the love you’ve found in your mate.

#blendedfamily #blendedlife #blendedfamilylife #blendedfamilylove #blendedfamilyproblems #blendedfamilyadvice #blendedfamilyhelp #blendedfamilysupport #blendedfamilystruggles #blendedfamilymarriage #blendedfamilyexpectations #blendedfamilymarriageandlove #blendedfamiliesofinstagram #marriagegoals #marriagefirst #stepparentproblems #stepparentstruggles #blendedfamilypriorities #getyourprioritiesstraight #putyourspousefirstaftergod #blendedfamilyrealtalk #blendedfamilyrelationships #blendedfamilystrong #blendedfamilyhope #blendedfamilyhappiness #blendedlifemarriage #marriedwithkids #marriedwithchildren #loveandmarriage

5 years ago | [YT] | 4

Blended Life

...because this sh*t’s hard!

It’s really important for the bio parent in the home to take a good look at the struggles their spouse faces as a step parent to their child. It isn’t all rainbows 🌈 and unicorns 🦄 after all. Doing so, having their stresses and frustrations acknowledged, will go a long way for moral.

Your spouse wants to be seen just as your child does (speaking to the bios now). It’s natural to be concerned and concentrated on your child (that’s expected), but you ALSO need to pay that same attention to the person you married and committed your life to.

Validating your spouse and being willing to see their side of the struggle is actively loving them in a most necessary and meaningful way. Don’t skip this in your blended family marriage!

#marriage #supportyourspouse #marriageadvice #marriageworks #marriedlife #marriedcouple #marriageissacred #marriageisablessing #blendedlife #blendedfamilymarriage #blendedfamilymarriageandlove #marriageisthecore #stepparentingisnteasy #committed #blendedlifepodcasthosts #stepparentingishard #stepparentsupport #showupforeachother #stepparentingstruggles #blendedfamilylife #blendedfamiliesofinstagram #blendedfamilysupport #blendedfamilymarriedcouples #realtalk #teammates #teammatesforlife #blendedfamilymarriagehelp #blendedfamilymarriageadvice #blendedfamilyspouselife #blendedfamilymarriagestruggles

5 years ago | [YT] | 9

Blended Life

When you have no say, and you have no power but you still are present...this is some pretty solid advice for step parents.

Flashing the camera and holding Pom Poms is better than stomaching the ride sometimes. 🤢🤮

#stepmom #stepdad #stepparent #stepparenting #stepparentlife #stepparentingishard #stepparentingadvice #stepparentingsupport #stepparentingstruggles #stepfamily #stepfamilylife #stepfamilysupport #stepfamilyhelp #stepmomsupport #stepdadsupport #blendedlife #blendedfamily #blendesfamilylife #blendedfamilysupport #blendedfamiliesofinstagram #blendedfamilyhelp #stepoff #caringtoomuch #caringtoolittle #losingbattle #realtalk #thestruggleisreal #blendedfamilylove #stepparentingrealtalk #bepresent

5 years ago | [YT] | 4

Blended Life

This quote is everything.

Here’s another reason to have the hard conversations with your spouse about all things in your blended family. If you run, hide, stuff or sweep under the rug your issues, everything escalates - sometimes beyond repair.

Love your spouse and family enough to deal with things up front as they come. Don’t allow things to fester to the point of no return; to the point you say the big hurtful stuff that could have been avoided had you just been brave enough to speak up.

#speakup #speakyourtruth #marriageadvice #marriagehelp #marriagecommunication #realtalk #beagoodlistener #bewillingtoreceive #bewillingtolisten #goodcommunication #lifelessonslearned #blendedfamily #blendedlife #blendedfamilylife #blendedfamilyhelp #blendedfamilysupport #blendedfamilysuccess #blendedfamiliesofinstagram #blendedfamilyproblems #blendedfamilyissues #blendedfamilymarriage #blendedfamilyadvice #blendedlifeishard #havethehardconversations #havethehardtalks #goodspousesmakegoodparents #marriagefirst #prioritizeyourmarriage #wordsofwisdom #quoteoftheday

5 years ago | [YT] | 5

Blended Life

Your marriage is the core relationship of your blended family. Therefore it needs to be handled with great care and unwavering commitment. It should be your top priority because without a solid marriage the whole family will fall apart.

Your marriage is also bigger than either person in it. And when arguments inevitably occur, and you find yourself at odds with your spouse, you need to ask what is in the best interest of the marriage going forward and not make it all about one or the other individual. To resolve conflict, neither spouse should make the resolve about either person but about what is the greater good for the relationship as a whole.

Ask yourself and your spouse how together you can move your relationship forward and you will be able to weather any storm.

Defensive behavior solves nothing and usually just adds to the negativity.

#marriagetruths #marriageconflict #marriageconflictresolution #marriageadvice #marriagehelp #marriageworks #marriagelife #marriedlife #relationshipprogression #marriageproblems #blendedfamily #blendedfamilylife #blendedlife #blendedfamilymarriage #blendedfamilyproblems #blendedfamilysupport #blendedfamilysuccess #blendedfamilyhelp #blendedfamilyadvice #defensivebehavior #defensiveness #focusontherelationship #focusonthemarriage #workthroughthestruggle #weatherthestorm #partnersforlife #marriageisbiggerthantwopeople #marriageishardwork #marriageissues #blendedfamiliesofinstagram

5 years ago | [YT] | 4

Blended Life

And there’s a lot of shit, so learn to sit and listen. You have to. You must receive what your partner needs to unload. Don’t dismiss. Don’t deflect. Don’t get defensive. Just listen and receive. Sit with it if necessary until you can come up with a helpful and honoring response.

Hurt needs to be seen. So if your spouse is hurting, learn how to help clean the wound instead of making it deeper. That’s love.

Respect and don’t gaslight. Don’t turn your partner’s pain and frustration back around on them, making them out to be crazy. That’s not honoring and will only create distance and disgrace in your relationship.

If you do nothing else learn how to be a good communicator (which includes a good listener too).

#listen #thankyouforlistening #marriageadvice #marriagehelp #marriagecommunication #realtalk #beagoodlistener #bewillingtoreceive #bewillingtolisten #goodcommunication #lifelessonslearned #blendedfamily #blendedlife #blendedfamilylife #blendedfamilyhelp #blendedfamilysupport #blendedfamilysuccess #blendedfamiliesofinstagram #blendedfamilyproblems #blendedfamilyissues #blendedfamilymarriage #blendedfamilyadvice #blendedlifeishard #havethehardconversations #havethehardtalks #goodspousesmakegoodparents #marriagefirst #prioritizeyourmarriage #putyourmarriagefirst #yourmarriageisthecore

5 years ago | [YT] | 6

Blended Life

Asking for a friend. 🙄🤣

JK JK

But seriously, a lot of what we get asked about deals with the push pull of change vs acceptance.

It’s wise to lay down and roll with that which you have no power to change and change that which is supported.

One thing this blended family journey has taught me is that you get miserably stuck if you can’t let go and move on (accept and adapt) from change charged “fights” that don’t prove fruitful.

In my opinion, one of the keys to success in blended family life is the ability to adapt. You have to.

Exes aren’t going to change. Step kids aren’t going to change. Different parenting styles in the home aren’t going to change. How your kids feel about certain things isn’t going to change. Therefore to survive, you must learn to ADAPT so that you can stop banging your head against the wall and actually enjoy the life you’re living.

#blendedlife #blendedfamily #blendesfamilies #blendedfamilylife #blendedfamilyproblems #blendedfamilystrong #blendedfamilysupport #blendedfamilysuccess #blendedfamilygoals #blendedfamilystruggles #blendedfamilyhelp #blendedfamilyadvice #blendedfamiliesofinstagram #blendedfamilyissuesarenotfun #blendedfamilyissues #blendedfamilysurvival #blendedfamilysolutions #blendedfamilystrategist #acceptanceiskey #acceptancematters #adaptandovercome #adaptability #adaptordie #survivalskills #copingskills #copingstrategies #flashlightpeople #livefufilled #dontfightthatwhichyouhavenopowertochange #blendedfamilywisdom

5 years ago | [YT] | 6

Blended Life

This is parenting and step parenting 101.

If you have a difficult child in the home, remember that it is just as important to acknowledge and encourage good behavior as it is to point out and discipline the bad.

The second you witness responsibility, respect, helpfulness or positivity, recognize and affirm the goodness in their action(s). Kids will seek positive attention, so be mindful of giving it.

#parenting #stepparenting #difficultkids #dealingwithdifficultkids #positivevibes #positivereinforcement #yougetmoreflieswithhoney #goodness #blendedfamily #blendedfamilylife #blendedlife #blendedfamilyproblems #blendedfamilyparenting #blendedfamilystruggles #blendedfamilysupport #blendedfamilyhelp #blendedfamilyadvice #blendedfamilystepparenting #blendedfamiliesofinstagram #blendedfamilygoals #parentinghelp #stepparentinghelp #encouragegoodbehavior #encouragegoodhabits #encouragegoodvibes #parenthood #parentingtips #stepparentinglife #stepparentingishard

5 years ago | [YT] | 3

Blended Life

✔️ Coparenting

✔️ Marriage

✔️ Friendship

✔️ Profession

In every kind of relationship, put your words to the test; I promise it will SAVE you.

Is what I am saying TRUE?
Is it KIND?
Is it HELPFUL?

#wordsofwisdom #wordstoliveby #wordsmatter #foodforthought #communicationiskey #communicationtips #communicationtest #askyourselfthis #lifelessons #leasonslearnedinlife #coparentinghelp #marriagehelp #ownit #youhavetoownit #blendedlife #blendedfamily #wordsofencouragement #truthteller #helpeachother #thinkbeforeyouspeak #honestcommunication #conversationsthatmatter #beagoodfriend #frienship #saywhatyoumean #meanwhatyousay #clearintentions #word #wisdom

5 years ago | [YT] | 3