Positive Spirits

Don Miguel Ruiz was born into a family of healers and raised in rural Mexico by a curandera (healer) mother and a nagual (shaman) grandfather. The family anticipated that Miguel would embrace the centuries-old legacy of healing and teaching and carry forward the esoteric Toltec knowledge. Instead, Miguel chose to go to medical school and became a surgeon.

A near-death experience changed his life. Late one night, he fell asleep at the wheel of his car and drove it into a wall of concrete. Don Miguel remembers that he was not in his physical body as he watched himself pull his two friends to safety.

Stunned by this experience, he began an intensive practice of self-inquiry. He devoted himself to the mastery of the ancient ancestral wisdom, studying earnestly with his mother and completing an apprenticeship with a powerful shaman in the Mexican desert. His grandfather who had passed on continued to teach him in his dreams.

In this book, Don Miguel reveals the source of self-limiting beliefs that rob us of joy and create needless suffering. Based on ancient Toltec wisdom, the book offers a powerful code of conduct that he says can rapidly transform our lives to a new experience of freedom, true happiness and love.

So what does “agreement” mean? He puts in nicely: As children, we didn’t have the opportunity to choose our beliefs, but we “agreed” to the information that was passed on to us. The only way to store information is by agreement. If we don’t agree, we don’t store that information. But as soon as we agree, we believe it, and this is called faith. To have faith is to believe unconditionally.

Think of your concept of “family” or “marriage” or “society” …. All of these were told to us and we believed. We agreed. And hence it is what it is for each of us individually. But could we rebel against any of these? We could – and that would change our agreement and hence our belief. Which is why these “sacred” definitions are not so sacred anymore – as more people challenge the norms.

The 4 agreements that he says can change our lives if we embrace them are:

1) Be Impeccable with your word

We use the term DWYSYWD (Do what you say you would do) in our Leadership workshops. It is this of course but being impeccable with our word means a little more than that.

He says: Every human is a magician, and we can either put a spell on someone with our word or we can release someone from a spell. We cast spells all the time with our opinions. For example, if a parent were to tell a child that he is not good at something – reading, writing, sports, anything – the child will grow up with that belief. No matter that it may have been said in anger. But as long as the child is in agreement, the child will continue to believe that. That is the spell she is under. Until someone comes along and breaks that spell with words again.

So being impeccable with our word means: To speak with integrity. Saying only what you mean. Avoid using the word to speak against yourself or to gossip about others. Use the power of your word in the direction of truth and love.

2) Don’t take anything personally

As Sri Sri Ravishankar tells us, we are like a football. Someone kicks us in one direction and off we go. Someone else kicks us in another direction and off you go again. A good question to ask yourself to get out of this kind of thinking is: “So what?” You do a great workshop and people lavish praise on you. Ask yourself: “So what?” Similarly, despite all your effort, someone just did not like what you did. Still ask: “So what?” In the words of Khalil Gibran: “This also shalt pass”

Nothing others do is because of you. What others say and do is a projection of their own reality, their own dream. When you are immune to the opinions and actions of others, you won’t be the victim of needless suffering.

3) Don’t make assumptions

There is an interesting saying: When you assume, you make an ass out of you and me. Yet, all of us are guilty of doing this in our interactions with others. It is human. We assume intent – usually negative intent. As we learnt in Influencing without authority, assuming positive intent makes all the difference!

Find the courage to ask questions and express what you really want. Communicate with others as clearly as you can to avoid misunderstandings, sadness and drama. With just this one agreement, we can transform our lives.

4) Always do your best

As someone put it, so nicely: Life should not be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well-preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside in a cloud of smoke, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and loudly proclaiming "Wow! What a Ride!”

Unfortunately, most people live their lives as “hold-outs” – not putting in their very best every day. As Don Miguel puts it, “Your best is going to change from moment to moment. It will be different when you are healthy as opposed to sick. Under any circumstance, simply do your best, and you will avoid self-judgement, self-abuse and regret.”

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