Just a Yogi: The Yoga of True Forgiveness

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I'm feeling slightly off this morning, behind in my usual schedule, a structure I greatly enjoy in its familiar rhythm of meditation, yoga, and writing. There's a bit of a struggle for words right now. I'm feeling a rush to get something on the page before I fall even further behind in my routine.

and of course, all of it is completely made up.

there's no reason for any of this to feel as it does other than my own insistence that it be a certain way.

this morning I slept in—a whole 30 minutes—much needed after an episode of anxiety kept me awake the entire night before. The effects are still lingering with me now: a sense of guilt for sleeping in, that nagging feeling that I have to rush to make everything work today.

all after effects of anxiety.

so today, the emphasis is on kindness.

I'll slow down a little and give myself a break from rigid, self-established routines. There's nowhere I have to be and nothing I need to get done.

really, I need do nothing.

the Holy Spirit tells me that this is so,

and I rest in this awareness,

content to simply be.

~

I love you,

Eric

17 hours ago (edited) | [YT] | 20

Just a Yogi: The Yoga of True Forgiveness

**One Forgiven Moment**

last night I passed through a long stretch of anxiety that often bordered on sheer panic. This was the most severe episode in ages. It's been years since I've had a moment this bad. And here I am this morning, the effects lingering, feeling the trauma of a near-endless night and a bit of dread for this evening when I lay my head down again for another attempt at sleep.

I have a day in between the two that offers me the opportunity of forgiveness, erasing both trauma and dread through the continuous return to this present moment, lovingly, repeatedly...returning.

and that's also how I navigated last night, breathing from the diaphragm, holding a focused relaxation on the trigger areas of jaw and throat, and mostly just forgiving myself for the thought that this shouldn't be happening to me again. I forgave the false beliefs of *cured*, *healed*, and *shouldn't*, and simply brought my attention back to what was happening right now.

and dealt with that.

over and over again.

eventually there came a light sleep and a brand new day.

this morning I'll tend to myself, a gentle recovery,

and continue to forgive.

I have no idea what the evening holds...

but I will make my way through it.

one forgiven moment at a time.

~

I love you, Eric

1 day ago | [YT] | 38

Just a Yogi: The Yoga of True Forgiveness

My own special function:

I want to be very careful in considering what A Course in Miracles calls my "special function," the core task assigned to each of us for the salvation of the world. It's so easy for the ego to rush in and lay claim to almost any role that helps glorify its position. What I've found is that there's really no singular job to hold to, no specific title that I can say is mine—it seems that our special function is much too fluid to be contained within a set perimeter. It blooms wherever we are planted if tended to properly.

I am very much at home right now on my YouTube channel, comfortable with guests, and also just enjoying times where there's carefree banter and helping others feel peaceful and at ease. My special function isn't being a content creator; it's much deeper than any description.

but I'll try and summarize a bit here.

my special function is joy.

it's curiosity.

laughter.

and most importantly it's offering these things to you, whether on my YouTube channel or in person. My only real talent is sharing. So wherever I go, any place I might find myself, I am tasked with the special function of offering you love through my own unique capacity of doing so.

it's a wonderful function to fulfill.

~

I love you, Eric

2 days ago | [YT] | 15

Just a Yogi: The Yoga of True Forgiveness

Everything's forgiven:

and so now I'm beginning to recognize my own call for healing, finally, my attack thoughts subdued to eventual surrender and a gentle peace is found. I recognize that only my most loving thoughts are true. Anything else and I am calling for help in a language not my own, with little hope of actually being heard. This is a very subtle understanding, recognizing my defensiveness, the smallest judgment, and every resentment held longer than the swiftest moment as an appeal for healing. For a long time I've been able to spot this in another and immediately begin to offer forgiveness. Even if it seemed to take some time, at least the recognition was there and my heart would start to soften.

yet my own cries were far too unheard.

long ignored.

and worse,

believing I was undeserving of any healing.

what changed for me was...you.

my forgiving practice has finally reached me, turned inward in its focus, and it's only because I so sincerely wanted to see the light of God within you. In everyone. And this became a beautiful self-reflecting gem, an Indra's Net of forgiveness that couldn't help but eventually find me.

so now I am internally focused upon healing, mindful of the littlest shift toward excluding myself from any healing or aspect of forgiveness. I am so grateful for every reflection offered in the guise of another.

I see myself in you...

and everything's forgiven.

finally.

thank you, thank you, thank you.

~

I love you, Eric

To read more from Headless Now, please visit: Signpost of Words

Also, please visit and browse: A Course in Miracles

Thank you.

3 days ago | [YT] | 26

Just a Yogi: The Yoga of True Forgiveness

Signpost of words:

it seems the language itself takes us there, returning through the signpost of words that always conclude in realization of our perfect union. This is the language of the mystics, self-realization offered by poets and the subtle metaphors of great saints in every tradition. When their words are read by the heart, not seeking an intellectual understanding, but finding ourselves awash in the awareness they offer...there's an awakening. We're home. If only for the instant of our reading.

"I and the Father are one" (John 10:30)

~

I love you, Eric

4 days ago | [YT] | 18

Just a Yogi: The Yoga of True Forgiveness

Trusting in a moment:



so my mistake is in thinking that it's a place of ultimate arrival, a destination that I just haven't earned yet, believing that I'm not sincere enough in my practice and only have to try harder to achieve it. I've been contemplating the concept of trust a lot lately, one of the ten characteristics of God's teachers that the Manual for Teachers emphasizes in A Course in Miracles. It's always felt like a bit of a sticking point for me, a checkpoint on my roadmap toward enlightenment that I never quite arrived at — when actually I've been here all along.



the word trust is really more of a verb, although it can also function as a noun. My thoughts have made such a beautiful fluid word a solid place of arrival. An achievement. The truth is that the entirety of my spiritual practice is trusting. It's a moment-by-moment matter of faith that right now, everything I need is simply graced in support of my existence. I am here, now, and my every true need is met. What I've done, quite successfully it seems, is project my fear forward to the next possible moment that doesn't even exist yet — and then wonder if this grace of support will follow.



it's here, it's always right here.



it's now.



and it's never not right now.



it's not about trust, at least not in the sense of being a noun. I'm still in verb territory, trusting, and it's becoming such a beautiful practice of continuous surrender. Each moment my needs are met. An abundance of air rests upon my lips for each breath to be drawn. An unseen atmosphere of cells, molecules, atoms and particles supports my body. An entire universe participates in my existence.



and all I'm asked to do is trust this...



and so I do,



each of these impossible moments that are somehow made possible for just an instant as my faith shines through. I'm already trusting. Completely so.



nothing more is needed.



nowhere to go.



I'm here.



now.

~

I love you,
Eric

5 days ago | [YT] | 20

Just a Yogi: The Yoga of True Forgiveness

Most mornings, long before the sun comes up, I find myself writing.

Not to teach.
Not to convince.
Not to build a brand.

Just to explore forgiveness, kindness, meditation, A Course in Miracles, and what it means to live a peaceful life in an often noisy world.

Over the years these reflections have accumulated into a quiet library of thoughts, questions, discoveries, and moments of grace.

If you've found value in our conversations here, you may enjoy spending some time with the writing as well.

You can find the blog here:

ericcpmccarty.blogspot.com/

I hope something there meets you exactly where you are.

I love you,

Eric

6 days ago | [YT] | 6

Just a Yogi: The Yoga of True Forgiveness

What I Must Have Missed Before

sometimes it lands so clearly that it's impossible not to see it as a directive, not even a bit subtle but a sure sign of how I'm meant to navigate the world. Decades into studying A Course in Miracles and I'm still handed these powerful messages. For whatever reason, words that have been read countless times before take on a brand new energy, as if every previous reading was simply meant to break me open just a little bit more until I was fully ready to receive them.



it is still your only function to behold in him what he sees not.
(ACIM, T-25.II.8:7)



I love when things are simplified, when complexities drop away and the path narrows to a straight edge forward. As I write this now it's almost 4:00 a.m., and it was earlier still when I read those words. They were embedded in a longer sentence, contained in a paragraph, and belonging to a section within a chapter. But those were the exact words I needed, and I had no idea it was so until I read them.



this actually happens quite often, more now than ever, a lifetime of spiritual breadcrumbs delivering me to each revelation.



and so now my day sets forth with a clear agenda.



my only function is to behold...



what we both must have missed before.



I see you.



and I love you.



~

Peace, Eric

6 days ago | [YT] | 32

Just a Yogi: The Yoga of True Forgiveness

A different way of tracking:

it seems I've been learning a different way of tracking, locating animals, birds and reptiles by present signs rather than the tracks they've left behind. This has been an important distinction, not looking for clues of past location in order to find an animal, but recognizing what's occurring right now and allowing my awareness to draw me exactly to the perfect moment for filming. With just a little attention I've managed to discern the water trail of ripples left by a recently passing goose and that of a beaver that just dove beneath the surface - my camera is ready for just the right moment when he rises. There are literally thousands of signs that tell me what's about to happen and where to aim my camera.

and the spiritual metaphor isn't lost on me.


this present moment will tell me everything I need to know about my state of mind. There's little need to track a past event, tragic situation, or troublesome person to this exact point in time. I'm not saying that doing so won't facilitate my healing, perhaps so, but more importantly is what's happening right now and where it might be leading me. A thought doesn't exist in the past, it's a ghost trail, and tracking those signs only leads me to what's been left behind through years and memories. It's as if I'm tracking an animal - I could follow a past story and hope it brings me to a magical instant that's ready for filming, or the alternative is to settle into this exact moment, ready, attentive, and allow the present magic to be revealed to me. Perhaps it not a matter of which way is better than the other. I honestly don't know. But this is where I find myself most often, this open, allowing space of presence...

participating in the magic.

~

I love you, Eric

1 week ago | [YT] | 29

Just a Yogi: The Yoga of True Forgiveness

A simple commandment:

it's a seamless view of reality, a commandment to finally see exactly who we really are. In the New Testament, Jesus is asked which is the greatest of the commandments, and his reply is, ultimately, an expression of pure nonduality.

"love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind. This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: Love your neighbor as yourself."

this is a commandment only because there is no other way. Anything else is simply a delusion of a split mind that sees a world broken off into personal and separate realities belonging to each of us alone. To say "love the Lord your God" is to implore us to look within and find that seamless expression of love that resides in all of us, truly knowing the neighbor as ourselves, and each of us as an aspect of God. And Jesus, in A Course in Miracles, might simplify this even further:

forgive...

and see the love of God.

for only love is real.

and nothing unreal exists.

~

I love you, Eric

1 week ago | [YT] | 39