Leave Then Cleave helps Christians navigate toxic family relationships, boundaries, estrangement, spiritual manipulation, reconciliation, and healing — without losing their faith, marriage, or peace.
Hosted by Jon and Ashley Lefrandt, this channel is for anyone wrestling with questions like:
Is no contact biblical?
Does forgiveness require reconciliation?
How do I honor my parents when the relationship is harmful?
Are boundaries Christlike?
How do I protect my marriage from toxic family patterns?
Rooted in the teachings of Jesus Christ and informed by family systems, trauma, and human behavior, we offer honest conversations for those trying to break unhealthy cycles, cleave to what matters most, and build something healthier than what they came from.
Start here: watch our Cleave Answers series for short, faith-filled answers to real questions about boundaries, family, healing, and Christlike love.
Leave then Cleave
Giveaway!!! We hit 40,000 followers on Instagram and 10,000 on Facebook. 🥹
Honestly, we are so grateful.
Not because of the numbers themselves, but because of what they represent: thousands of people trying to understand how to love their families, honor their faith, tell the truth, and stop losing themselves in the process.
So to celebrate, we’re doing something special this week.
We’re giving away one Christlike Boundaries Masterclass + Coaching Bundle.
And we’re opening registration for our live Christlike Boundaries Masterclass + Q&A at a special milestone price:
Live Masterclass + Q&A: $37
Regular price: $67
Masterclass + Coaching Bundle: $147
Regular price: $197
Includes the live masterclass, replay access, and a personal clarity conversation to help you apply the principles to your specific family situation.
The live masterclass is happening July 13.
Early bird milestone pricing ends EOD Friday, June 26.
Giveaway closes EOD Friday, June 26.
Winner announced Saturday, June 27.
In this masterclass, we’ll talk about how to love without enabling, forgive without pretending, honor your faith without abandoning yourself, and build boundaries that are not rooted in bitterness, punishment, or revenge — but in truth, stewardship, and love.
Because Christlike boundaries are not about loving less.
They are about learning how to love without self-abandonment.
To enter the giveaway and get the registration link, comment:
MASTERCLASS
We’ll send you the details. 🤍
1 week ago | [YT] | 12
View 2 replies
Leave then Cleave
Recently I stood at my dad’s grave surrounded by the family that exists because he lived.
The older I get, the more grateful I become for one simple truth:
I had a father whose example I could follow.
Not because he was perfect, but because he was good.
I’ve seen enough in life to know that not everyone gets that gift. I’ve seen the difference good men make, and I’ve seen the damage that can be left behind when fathers fail to live up to their calling.
The contrast has only deepened my gratitude.
A good father doesn’t just impact his children. He impacts generations.
His influence shapes marriages, families, and futures long after he’s gone.
Today, I feel grateful for the legacy my dad left behind, and I feel a responsibility to carry it forward.
To love my wife well.
To be present for my children.
To choose integrity over pride.
To build something that outlives me.
I’m grateful that Ashley chose me to be her partner in creating this family, and I’m grateful for the opportunity to continue the work of good men who came before me.
Most of all, fatherhood has taught me something about my Heavenly Father.
Every time I love my children, I catch a glimpse of how He loves us—perfectly, patiently, and infinitely more than we can comprehend.
Today, I’m honoring my dad.
And I’m honoring all the good fathers whose quiet sacrifices are changing generations.
The world needs more good men.
Happy Father’s Day. ❤️
#FathersDay #FamilyLegacy #Fatherhood #Gratitude #GoodMenMatter #LeaveThenCleave
1 week ago (edited) | [YT] | 28
View 6 replies
Leave then Cleave
Father’s Day has always carried a mix of gratitude and grief for us.
Jon lost his father when he was only 46 years old.
Ashley lost her father in a different way—not through death, but through choices, patterns, and a family system that eventually made a healthy relationship impossible.
So every Father’s Day reminds us of both what we had and what we wish could have been.
Over the last few years, we’ve had many conversations about family, legacy, marriage, and the kind of parents we want to be.
And one thing we’ve come to believe deeply is this:
A father’s greatest gift to his children isn’t money.
It isn’t success.
It isn’t status.
It’s the example he leaves behind.
Our children are learning what love looks like.
What honesty looks like.
What accountability looks like.
What respect looks like.
What a healthy marriage looks like.
Not primarily from what we say, but from what we live.
That’s why Father’s Day isn’t just about celebrating fathers.
It’s also an invitation to reflect on the kind of legacy we’re creating.
Because one day our children will tell stories about us.
They’ll remember what we tolerated.
What we excused.
What we defended.
And what we stood for.
As parents, we’ve made plenty of mistakes.
We certainly don’t claim to have all the answers.
But we have tried to build a home where integrity matters more than appearances,
where truth matters more than comfort,
and where people matter more than preserving unhealthy patterns.
And we’ve learned that loving your children sometimes requires difficult decisions, difficult conversations, and the courage to break cycles that have existed for generations.
This Father’s Day, we’re especially grateful for the fathers who choose character over image,
accountability over excuses,
humility over ego,
and sacrifice over selfishness.
The world needs more men like that.
Our children do too.
Happy Father’s Day to the dads who are quietly doing the hard work of building something healthier for the next generation.
The work matters.
And the legacy lasts longer than you know.
#fathersday #dysfunctionalfamily #estrangement #nocontact #toxicfamily
2 weeks ago | [YT] | 16
View 0 replies
Leave then Cleave
We are so grateful our book is touching so many in such a meaningful way.
a.co/d/0gOkHSbw
3 weeks ago | [YT] | 7
View 0 replies
Leave then Cleave
Sometimes the hardest part of a smear campaign isn’t the lie itself.
It’s realizing who was willing to believe the worst about you without ever coming to you first.
Healthy people clarify.
Unsafe people conclude.
And in unhealthy family systems, rumors are often used to justify blame, distance, control, or disrespect.
You do not have to chase every lie.
You do not have to over-explain yourself to people committed to misunderstanding you.
Clarify once with the people who matter.
Then go quiet. Go steady. Go consistent.
Your fruit will speak louder than their rumor.
If this hit close to home, comment CHAPTER and I’ll send you a free chapter of Leave Then Cleave.
#FamilyBoundaries
#ToxicFamily
#SmearCampaign
#LeaveThenCleave
#ChristianBoundaries
3 weeks ago | [YT] | 51
View 4 replies
Leave then Cleave
Here’s to one of life’s most underrated accomplishments:
Building a long-term relationship where you don’t just stay together…
You still like each other.
You still respect each other.
You still laugh together.
You still choose each other.
You still feel safe telling the truth.
That kind of love doesn’t happen by accident.
It takes repair.
It takes humility.
It takes forgiveness.
It takes boundaries.
It takes two people willing to grow.
Marriage isn’t just about lasting a long time.
It’s about becoming people who are still good for each other after all that time.
And honestly… that might be one of the holiest forms of success.
#Marriage #HealthyMarriage #ChristianMarriage #LeaveAndCleave #RelationshipGoals
1 month ago | [YT] | 27
View 1 reply
Leave then Cleave
The gospel isn’t the problem.
But sometimes sacred language gets filtered through fear, shame, control, image management, or unhealthy family systems.
And when that happens…
forgiveness becomes full access.
honor becomes obedience.
“don’t judge” becomes don’t discern.
peace becomes silence.
love becomes self-abandonment.
unity becomes protecting the system.
suffering becomes proof of righteousness.
family becomes the idol.
But Christ’s gospel was never meant to protect dysfunction.
It was meant to bring truth, repentance, healing, and freedom.
If you’ve ever felt guilty for setting boundaries because someone used faith, family, forgiveness, or honor to keep you stuck…
you’re not alone.
Comment BOUNDARIES and I’ll send you a free chapter from our new book, Christlike Boundaries — for anyone trying to follow Christ without enabling dysfunction.
#ChristlikeBoundaries #ChristianBoundaries #ToxicFamily #FaithAndHealing #FamilySystems
1 month ago | [YT] | 80
View 5 replies
Leave then Cleave
Memorial Day Sale 🇺🇸
For today only, we’re offering 20% off sitewide on Leave Then Cleave resources.
This includes:
Ebooks
Audiobook
Live webinars
Past webinar recordings
Digital resources
Use code MEMORIAL20 at checkout.
We created these resources for those trying to heal unhealthy family patterns, set boundaries without losing their faith, protect their marriage, and build a healthier legacy moving forward.
If you’ve been waiting to grab the book, listen to the audiobook, join a webinar, or revisit one of our past teachings, today is a good day.
Shop the sale through the link in our bio.
Sale applies to products on our website only.
Paperback purchases on Amazon are excluded.
#LeaveThenCleave #MemorialDaySale #ChristianBoundaries #FaithAndHealing #FamilyHealing
1 month ago | [YT] | 4
View 0 replies